When it's just you....
and the world seems like it has shut the door on you...do you give up.......on it........on yourself.........on everything?
There's been a few times I've done this...I have turned to bottles, to meds, to a lot of things I'm not proud of...I'm ready to look in the mirror now after this short journey I'm still traveling on and say "I can do this...I WILL do this..." alone or with support by my side......I will...I've done it before and I will do it again each time getting stronger and using less things to lose my focus on what life is really about.
The world may seem like it has shut the door, but it's not locked. Even if it is...and the key is lost...it's not lost forever....there are other ways to open that door, to break back into the world....don't count me out yet...I'm still on my way.
I am full of sorrow when I say I chose the other day to beat the door down with a bottle...as we all know...bottles don't break doors...doors break bottles and bottles break spirits when you are drowning in your own self pitty...you might not even know you are (I didn't, which just goes to show I'm not healed yet) until you access it and it takes control.
I moved a step backwards but just because I stepped back does not mean I can no longer walk forwards again. I will take longer strides to get back on track...I think in realizing what I have done...I'm already half way back....
Peace, Love, Luck & Laughter...xo